Making our Homes a Qiblah and Taking our Homes as a Place of Worship

For men, the place of worship is the masjid (for the salaah) and for the women this is their homes. Men should use the home as a qiblah (place to perform the optional prayers), etc. Many Muslims make their optional prayers in the masjid thinking that they will get more reward through this, but rather the people of the past did these optional prayers at any time and in any place. The men need to try to increase their prayers in the house. If the man is able to make the optional prayers (especially those Sunnah prayers that come before the obligatory prayers) then he should do so in his house.

Daawood Adeeb mentioned one time when he was praying with Shaykh al-‘Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah) and after the tasleem he was going to turn to Shaykh al-‘Uthaymeen to ask him a question but the Shaykh raised his hand up (not saying anything) and stopped him until he was done making his thikr.

So these athkaar are very important. Some will protect us from Shaytaan and some will protect us from the fitnah, etc. If we want to make a Perfect Muslim family we have to make the home a place where the remembrance of Allaah (Azzawajall) is in abundance.

We should also increase tasfiyah wat-tarbiyah (spiritual training) in our homes. ‘Aa’ishah (radiAllaahu anhaa) reported that the Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) would pray Qiyaam al-Layl and when he prayed witr he would say: “Get up and pray witr O ‘Aa’ishah.”

Sometimes the husbands feel sorry for their wives because they are harder workers than the husbands are. The man’s work is from 9 to 5 but the women’s work is from morning till night and it is never done. So we should have mercy on the women for their work is from morning till night.

The Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) informed us that we should not make our homes as graveyards meaning we should try to make as many prayers in the home that are not obligatory prayers. So we should make our homes a place where the prayer is performed in abundance.

The Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) said:“May Allaah have mercy on a man who gets up at night and prays and then wakes up his wife to pray and if she refuses he sprinkles a little water on her face.”
By doing this we increase our worship and the bond of brotherhood that exists between the husband and wife and the bond of love and mercy as well. The children should also be woken like this when they get to a certain age because this will train them in the spiritual training.

Another example is that the Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) encouraged the Muslims to fast on the 13th, 14th, and 15th days of each month (Hijri months). These days are called ‘Ayaamul-beedh’, the three white days.

Also we should train our wife and children to fast Mondays and Thursdays and on ‘Aashoorah (the 9th and 10th of Muharram).In addition we should continuously recite Soorah al-Baqarah in the house because if we want to have a perfect Muslim family then we must get rid and protect from the Shaytaan. One of the ways to do this is to recite Soorah al-Baqarah.

The Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) said:“Read Soorah al-Baqarah in your houses for surely Shaytaan can not enter a house in which Soorah al-Baqarah is recited.” This Soorah will not keep Shaytaan out of the house if it is recited in any other language other than that of the Qur’aan. This encourages us to learn the Arabic language.

The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) informed us that: “Allaah wrote a book 50,000 years before the creation and it is kept near the Throne, and He revealed two aayaat of it with which He concluded Soorah al-Baqarah. If they are recited for three consecutive nights, Shaytaan will not approach that house.” (Reported by Ahmad)

Teaching Ourselves and our Families

Allaah (tabaaraka wa ta’ala) says:
“O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is men and stones.”
In this aayaah, Allaah (Azzawajall) is commanding us to teach our families. Qataadah (radiAllaahu anhu) said regarding this aayaah:He should command them to obey Allaah and forbid them from disobeying Him and to direct them in accordance to the commands of Allah and help them to do that.”Dahhaaq and Maqaatil (rahimahumullaah) said: It is the Muslim’s duty to teach his family including the relatives and female slaves in what Allaah has enjoined upon them and in what he has forbidden.”And ‘Alee (radiAllaahu anhu) said:

This aayaah ‘O you who believe…” means teach them and train them.”For example, the sunnah is for a family to sit and eat from a large dish together as the Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) said:The most beloved food to Allaah is the food that has the most hands in it.”So the barakah is in eating together but you can still eat in separate places.

So if you are eating together you can train your children to do three things in regards to eating:
1) Say Bismillaah before eating.
2) Eat with the right hand.
3) Eat from that which is closest to you.
The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) taught this to a little boy that had not even reached puberty and his hands were taking from all over the plate. The Prophet (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) gently told him:
“Say the name of Allaah, eat with your right hand and eat with that which is closest to you.”

An exception to eating from that which is closest to you is when there is a variety of food. If the food is the same then you eat from that which is closest to you.

So we must train our families in matters of this, another example being that when they eat they don’t lean as the Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) said: When I eat I am one who does not lean.

Making the Best Possible Islaamic Library in our Homes

Some of the ‘ulema have stated:A house that does not have Riyaadh as-Saaliheen in it is a house that its inhabitants are hungry.”It is unimaginable that a person would not have Riyaadh as-Saaliheen as this is one of the best books one can have.

So we have to build up the Islaamic library. After the Qur’aan we should have Saheeh al-Bukhaaree and Saheeh Muslim and then Aboo Daawood, Ibn Maajah and an-Nasaa’ee and at-Tirmithee.

Making our Homes a Place Where the Righteous and Good People are Invited

So we invite the righteous and good people and also those who are seekers of knowledge and also the ‘ulema (if we are able). We will gain much benefit from this.

Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullaah) said:“If you bring the people of faith to your homes it will increase your home in light (bring benefits).” You should invite them to your homes and they should eat from your food and if they are knowledgeable then they will also make the du’aa for you from eating at your homes (at the very least). And we can never know when Allaah (Azzawajall) will accept the du’aa of one of his slaves.

Learning the Islaamic Rulings with Regards to the Home

The Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) said: The best of prayer is a man’s prayer in his house.”(Reported by al-Bukhaaree) o the best prayer for a man is in his home (except for the obligatory prayers).The Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) said: The man’s voluntary prayers in his house will bring more reward than his voluntary prayers at other people’s places, just as his obligatory prayers with the people are better than his obligatory prayers alone.” (Reported by Ibn Abee Shaybah and others)

o if you make Salaatul Duha or Istikhaarah in your house then there will be a great reward and it will be better.As for the women, the Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) said: The best prayers of the woman is that which is offered in the farthest places of her house.”So even if she is by herself in her house, she will get a great reward if she prays in her living room but she will get more reward if she prays in her bedroom, etc, even is she is by herself.

haykh al-‘Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah) was explaining this hadeeth and said:“The prayer of a woman is better in her house even if she lives across the street from this Ka’bah (and he pointed).” As part of the etiquettes of learning the rulings to perfect the Muslim home, Allaah (tabaaraka wa ta’ala) says:“O you who believe! Enter not houses other than your own until you have asked permission and greeted those in them. That is better for you in order that you may remember. And if you don’t find anyone therein still enter not until permission has been given. And if you are asked to go back then go back and return for it is purer for you and Allaah is all-Knower of what you do.”
So you just don’t walk into someone’s home even if they are close to you.

here is an important point in this aayaah so that if we are told to go away we must go away and come back later. This doesn’t mean we are being arrogant but we also have rights and there are times we don’t want to be bothered, so if we don’t want the person to come in we should tell them to come back at another time because this is the time we want to be alone or to spend with our family, etc. We should not let ourselves feel false shame for telling them to go away.

Creating an Opportunity for Discussing Family Matters

So this should be a specific time set aside to discuss the issues that the family is being confronted with and remedy solutions to these issues.

Allaah (Azzawajall) says:And who are those who conduct their affairs by mutual consultation.”So the family should discuss things that are going on in the house and outside the house (ie: what is happening at school, assigning chores, etc). All of this helps to perfect the Muslim family.

It is important to talk to the family about current affairs that are important for them to know (ie: Palestine). So the family should know (on their level) what is going on in the world and the oppression of the Muslims. This will have them in tune with their brothers and sisters in Islaam.

Not Showing Any Family Conflicts Between the Husband & Wife in Front of the Children

There is no house in which there are no arguments. The reconciliation process should be done away from the children (if you are able).

e should not say to our children things like “Don’t speak to your father, I’m not speaking to him today”, etc as this will instil boycotting in the children. Also we should stay away from arguing in front of our families as it will cause psychological and emotional scars and create turmoil in the hearts and minds of the children.

Not Allowing Anyone Into Your Home who is Not Having a Full Commitment to Islaam

So those who are not fully committed to Islaam or whose commitment to Islaam is not pleasing to you should not be allowed into your home. Also, we should keep those who cause fitnah away from our home.
So this means that the husband should know who his wife is talking to and who they sit with and who the other family members are associating with.

The Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) said:“The likeness of a bad companion is the likeness of one who works the bellows. The one who works the bellows will burn your house or your clothes or you will smell a bad odour from them.”

Note: the bellows are the iron and sooty places where the black smoke comes out)You don’t want to allow people who are fitnah makers into your home. You don’t want your wife to sit with people who backbite and slander, etc or those who smoke or drink or come with innovative and heretical ideologies.

Making our Family Aware of the Importance of Charity
One technique to do this is to make a sadaqah box and write on it something like “Charity for the Muslims” so that the children and husband and wife will place charity in this box from change they have and they will know that at then end of the week the money in this box will go to other Muslims. This will instill love in the children for other Muslims and form a bond of brotherhood.